somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize