So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
