Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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