he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
