so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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