i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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