Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize