if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
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