If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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