Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
