Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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