best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
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