i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
