We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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