Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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