So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
please come you make the beer taste better
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
