i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize