He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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