Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
