We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
