my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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