he puts the penis in happiness.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
