I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
