So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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