He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
