Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair

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  (313): I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair http://tfl.nu/9zqr
  Replies (1) Good night (2065) Bad night (1269)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore

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  (804): i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore http://tfl.nu/d307
  Replies (127) Good night (1218) Bad night (3962)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.

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  (209): I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store. (859): Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks. http://tfl.nu/01yd
  Replies (24) Good night (1030) Bad night (3339)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??

  (817): View more from Texas

  dude, everything can mix, this is college.

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  (214): does wine, beer, and vodka mix well?? (817): dude, everything can mix, this is college. http://tfl.nu/mqi0
  Replies (24) Good night (6201) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke

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  (315): making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke http://tfl.nu/o15u
  Replies (9) Good night (4853) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??

  (1-925): View more from California

  Yes. Yes it is.

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  (925): Is snow just God skeeting all over the place?? (1-925): Yes. Yes it is. http://tfl.nu/ofba
  Replies (12) Good night (4439) Bad night (1867)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost

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  (647): You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost http://tfl.nu/e5ly
  Replies (4) Good night (3115) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect

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  (412): Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect http://tfl.nu/da8w
  Replies (1) Good night (2357) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.

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  (717): Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit. http://tfl.nu/5mnb
  Replies (12) Good night (689) Bad night (2799)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.

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  (231): Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program. http://tfl.nu/4exh
  Replies (4) Good night (1180) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.

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  (307): We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning. http://tfl.nu/xr9v
  Replies (5) Good night (1335) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.

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  (678): For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute. http://tfl.nu/6j0u
  Replies (2) Good night (632) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it

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  (561): I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it http://tfl.nu/hhh2
  Replies (5) Good night (591) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change

  (303): View more from Colorado

  well did he get it

  (602): View more from Arizona

  ....yes

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  (602): He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change (303): well did he get it (602): ....yes http://tfl.nu/fuxg
  Replies (0) Good night (745) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.

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  (978): some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW. http://tfl.nu/nny8
  Replies (2) Good night (783) Bad night (314)

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