problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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