We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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