NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
