We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
i now understand why vodka
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
