You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
