He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
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at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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