I wannas sexs uuuuu
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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