I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize