Betty ford says i'm here all night
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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