Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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