I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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