You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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