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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I guess I misjudged your gender.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night

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• (716): View more from New York

  I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."

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• (760): View more from California

  He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...

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