STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
