i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
