New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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