and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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