I accidentally burped into my bong.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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