He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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