Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
