you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
