I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
