Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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