everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
