i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
