What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
