True but thats because hes a fetus.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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