This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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