I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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