The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
The best revenge is premature balding
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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