So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
