we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
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I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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