Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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