She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
