New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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