It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
