Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
